The Runner I used to be.

On our first day of family vacation during the kids’ naptime, my husband declared he was going on a run. My youngest sister-in-law asked him to wait and said, “I’ll join you.” Her husband then chimed in and said, “Well, I’ll go too.” I watched as they all readied – tying their shoes and strapping on their iPods as they left. I had to keep guard while the kids slept.

From 7th grade on up, every spring I would go with my mom to Athlete’s Foot and buy a pair of running shoes, usually Nike. One time my sophomore year in high school I bought a pair of Reebok’s and I lost the middle toenail on both feet. After college I would try a pair of Asics and love them, but they were too wide and I ended up wearing 2 pairs of socks just to prevent blisters. Each spring, when I bought my new pair of shoes, I would take them home and perform my ritual of completely unlacing them and then re-lacing them taking all of the twists out of the strings. Then, I would put the strings through the loop on the tongue. At the top, I laced them in a special way so that if my shoes did come untied, they wouldn’t loosen. Lastly, I would place the Nike extra arch support in the shoe. Ahhh! Such comfort!

I joined the track team with my friend Amy in 7th grade and found that I was a pretty good ¼ miler. That is until I reached puberty, got hip and became slow. Then, in high school I ran everything just because. I really enjoyed the 800 but my coach rarely put me in that event. He would always torture me with the 400. I even ran the mile once so our team could get a point. After college, while in graduate school, I became an assistant coach for the cross country, indoor and outdoor track teams. I tried to absorb as much as I could about coaching track. That year, the boys’ team won the indoor state title. The next winter, I finished graduate school and moved to San Francisco, CA. The year was 1998. I ran 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week. On Sundays I would run from the Pan Handle through Golden Gate park, reflect at the ocean and then run back. I ran numerous races -- especially Bay to Breakers and Bridge to Bridge consistently.

But now after ACL surgery in 2004 and 2 kids, I don’t know where the runner in me has gone. When I started seeing the man who would later become my husband he did every sport but running. I encouraged him to run – and he did – slowly. But in the past 5 years, he has run the SF marathon 3 times, the LA marathon once and the Big Sur Marathon once – not to mention numerous other half marathons. He has taken my workout and trumped me. So much so, that my in-laws and their family see me only as one who runs sometimes with her husband.

At times I think, “I’m the runner,” I want to yell. “I got HIM to run! I’ve been running longer than he has.” I want to get upset, but really is it worth it? One can only do what the body will do. I did get back into running after our first baby was old enough to go in the baby jogger (6 months) and I jogged until I was 5 months pregnant with our second baby. But now since the second baby, I have been suffering from tendonitis in my tensor fasciae latae in my hip. I have only recently been diagnosed because I kept thinking if I didn’t run, the pain would go away. It’s been 9 months since I last ran. And those last 6 months of running came with a lot of pain afterwards. The thing is, since I haven’t been running, no one has asked me, “Hey, are you still running?” And that’s how I know that I am not the runner that I used to be.